The perfect age gap between you and your partner for your relationship to be a success, according to a dating expert

THEY say age is just a number.

But as we’ve seen time and time again, an age-gap relationship has to overcome several hurdles in the way, such as judgement from society, varying family opinions, and lifestyle differences.

But is there ever a perfect age difference in order for a relationship to be a success?

According to psychotherapist Eloise Skinner, a smaller age gap is better, she told Metro, adding that the perfect range is between zero and three years.

A zero to three-year age gap is the ideal difference in age between you and your partner.

The reason for this is that both partners are at similar life stages.

“You’re more likely to have matched expectations financially in terms of spending, saving and investments, as well as health-wise,” she said.

Additionally, you and your partner are both more likely to be aligned on the physical aspect, which means you’ll be able to do the similar weekend activities, childcare responsibilities and sometimes, even have the same goals in terms of travelling.

The expert also warned that research shows relationship satisfaction levels decline for those partnerships that have significant age gaps.

That’s not to say there aren’t plenty of happy couples with large age gaps – however, you will need to prepare for inevitable ageing changing the dynamic even further.

Is there an age gap that’s too large?

According to Eloise, big age gaps “can become an issue where it results in a disparity of maturity level (which could be thought of as ’emotional age’), life experiences, values, priorities and expectations”.

For example, she continued, there might be bigger life challenges arising around topics such as starting a family – if one partner is significantly older, there can be issues around conception and different parenting styles.

The psychotherapist also added that financial planning could become a problem – when one partner is already planning for retirement, their significant other might be willing to take more financial risks.

While Eloise said there is no hard upper limit for an age gap, each pair should assess their needs in a relationship and be realistic about whether they can give each other the life they want.

The expert does have a concern about larger age gaps, though.

She warned that one major worry is power dynamics – for instance, where one partner has a bigger career or status and has a lot more financial resources.

However, this can also be the case without an age gap present. For a sustainable long-term relationship, Eloise said partners should be on a similar level of emotional and psychological maturity, share more or less the same values, goals and preferences.

These, she added, tend to be more likely to occur in smaller or no age-gap relationships.

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