WHEN Beth Sparksfire attended her first-ever sex party in New York in 2011, she arrived to find a quiet garden BBQ at an unsuspecting Brooklyn townhouse.
But as soon as she saw someone being tied up outside before hooking up with another woman, Beth – real name Elizabeth Pelletier – knew she was hooked for life.
She also met her future husband there, Andrew Sparksfire, a former financial analyst from Hull, UK, before growing the kinky event together.
Now the polyamorous couple, who have two kids, run Hacienda, New York’s most famous sex club, with around 13,000 members and guests on its database.
It hosts weekly events including rope bondage for beginners and held a kinky Bridgerton ball on Valentine’s Day last month.
The “SoHo House of sex” has hot tubs, a hot wax station and a wall for people to write their wildest fantasies on – which are often attended to.
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But it was also rocked by allegations in 2024 of misconduct at some of its parties – with party-goers alleging they had suffered physical or sexual abuse at events.
They also alleged Hacienda hadn’t taken their allegations seriously enough and rarely reported them, which organisers deny.
Instead, Beth insists it is a safe place for people to explore and consent is a focal part of its rigorous application process. She also said policies have been tightened even further.
Beth, 41, told The Sun: “Hacienda was my first ever sex party, and I’ve been hooked ever since.
“It was not much of a structured organisation at that point. It was more of a loose party where you could have sex.
“I brought devilled eggs because I wanted to bring something as a nice guest, and my best friend always made fun of me for that.
“It was a daytime BBQ, it was pretty small, maybe 40 people there. It has a covered backyard and someone was getting tied up outside.
“It was also the first day I was ever introduced to kink and polyamory, and I was like ‘wow’.
“I had experiences I had not had in a long time that I was wanting to have, to hit on some of my specific desires.
“It’s a great example of how to satisfy your desires without needing to seek out an individual person. You can go to a party and perhaps find them there.”
Beth quit her job in advertising in 2017 to go full time at the venue, giving herself the job title of Queen of Hacienda.
It welcomes anywhere between 75 to 175 people per event at three secret locations, all equipped with their own “dungeon”.
Other events include a Pillow Fight night and Clusterf***, for which members are told: “Bring your desires, your boundaries, and your most chaotic fantasies to this group centred play party.”
On Valentine’s Day, the venue held its own Bridgerton ball where guests wore items as a nod to the hit Netflix show set in the Regency era.
Beth said: “It was so charming. We had a little love letter station and somebody gave me an unexpected love letter.
“There was a performance and it was candlelit, there was romance and thrill. I love the theme.
“We had a fantasy board where you write your fantasies and then you can look at everybody else’s fantasies.
“It’s a great conversation piece because you’re standing next to someone and you’re like ‘who wrote that one’?”
She added: “We have a hot wax station. Sometimes the wax is UV and we’ll have a facilitator dripping it on somebody.
“We also had fire cupping at our last Valentine’s Day party.”
Describing the venue, Beth said: “It’s a beautiful place with great design, a hot tub and many different areas to socialise and enjoy yourself. There are multiple areas so you can move around.
“There are areas for socialising, experience stations, a dance floor, a kitchen, many bathrooms, three bedrooms, a large play space, a hot tub, a bar, and a backyard with a fire pit table.
“We decorate it for different parties. It’s upscale but not pretentious.”
Beth says she is flooded with hundreds of applications per month.
But to get in, members must apply with a picture, introduce themselves and also watch a video on their venue policies.
Applicants, who will pay $45 (£33) per month or (£96) per year if successful, must also provide a reference.
If they get in they must then attend and pay attention to an initiation speech.
Red flags that result in a rejection include applications written with AI and signs of desperation.
Beth added: “There are plenty of applications that come through that are not getting through: desperate guys, people who were obviously desperate.
“That’s not attractive, is it? I don’t want that sort of energy at a party, neither do any of the other women or guests.
“I especially have a pet peeve for people who use AI to write their entire ‘About Me’ answer… that’s an immediate no-go.
“Some people who apply, it’s very clear they only want to join to have sex. That cannot be the only thing I take from your application.
“We do in-person interviews for membership, so they can become a member if they’re the right fit.”
When you arrive at your first party, guests have to attend an orientation, Beth says.
“The orientation is a 15-minute speech, before things really kick off where we go through the rules and expectations, outline our values as a culture and give them helpful information,” she explained.
“Then after that we’ll do some ice breaker games, where we ask people to ask others so they say no, where it makes you practice our policies.
“At midnight the bedroom doors are swung wide open and people are allowed to take part in sexy playtime if they want. We ease them in during the first part of the night.”
For Beth, her favourite experiences have been in the hot tub.
“I’ve enjoyed many fun themes, outfits, and decorations. I’ve been to so many parties, and they all stand out,” she said.
“They’re all unique in a way. But really, it’s about consistently meeting incredible people every time. Those are my favourite memories – all the great people that I’ve met over the years.”
Asked if Hacienda had changed its policies since the allegations of abuse in 2024, Beth said the venue is constantly evolving.
She did not deny that the allegations took place but rejected claims they were not dealt with properly and reported.
The allegations, which dated back to 2014, included a woman who said she had been raped at one of the venues, four people claiming they had been bitten and punched by the same man during sex, and another woman claiming she had been choked without her consent.
At the time, Andrew Sparksfire told The Times that the club had taken action as soon as the claims were made and one alleged offender was removed.
Saying there had been incidents in the past he added: “Sex does come with inherent risks and there will be consent violations in sex-positive spaces.”
Speaking to The Sun, Beth added: “In the latest round of our updates we changed the application process slightly and added a new video explaining to people some rules and policies, and we make them watch that first and comment on it.
“We did some outreach to our community to get feedback because we wanted to hear from our members.
“We look at current policies and ask how things can be better, communicating those steps and updates to people along the way.
“We have a really comprehensive and transparent incident reporting procedure and we have all this outlined on our website under content.
“We specifically go through the steps involved and the people involved when one makes an incident report, so people know what to expect.
“And we’ll bring in outside counsel or additional team members to support in specific cases, requiring them to be impartial. We’re always keeping safety at the forefront of what we’re doing.”