A MOM-of-four and her husband live 450 miles apart but say the distance has “strengthened” their marriage.
Mandi Ketter, 46, and her husband of 17 years, Josh, 45, have been living apart for the last year.
Josh left Mandi, their four children – Malori, 28; Aiden, 23; Colin, 20; and Kendyl, 16 – and the family home in Kansas City to move to Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Josh works in oil refineries and was offered an office-based role after he was injured on the job in March 2024.
The position was seven hours away from the family home but he decided to make the leap as it offered career progression and a higher salary.
Mandi and their four kids stayed behind as they had “settled” in their area, and they didn’t want to uproot them or take them away from their school and their friends – instead waiting to live together again when their children eventually fly the nest.
The husband and wife now meet in hotels at half way points – aiming to see one another at least once every two weeks – and spend long holidays abroad together and with the rest of the family three times a year.
When Mandi is away, she leaves her “grown up kids” to look after the dogs and the youngest children.
Mandi believes it’s important to maintain their relationship before they become empty nesters – and says they make sure to prep to have time together to “keep the spark alive.”
Mandi, an content creator and makeup artist, said: “We tease that it’s temporary permanent, it’s not forever, but it’s not just a quick season either. We’re kind of in between.
“You have to be grateful and remember your partner is working for your family, he doesn’t want to be away too.
“We both try and make sure that all our work is done, and make sure that at least once in the month we are completely alone.
“It is important to give the other person your full attention so that you can really enjoy and focus on spending time with them. It is the quality of that time that keeps a couple going.”
Josh said: “My best advice to people in the same boat is to make time – be intentional with your time.
“And when you are apart, stay busy!”
Mandi and Josh were long distance for the first seven years of their relationship as Josh would travel for 10 months of the year – after finishing welding school and taking up short-term contracts in oil refineries across the US.
Mandi said: “The first seven years together, he was gone most of the time and it was really hard.
“You just start getting used to it and working through it, the whole family works together so it makes it easier.”
In 2011, that changed when he secured a steady 8am until 4pm, Monday-to-Friday job in Kansas City – around 100 miles from where they grew up in Nevada, Missouri.
The family relocated to Kansas City – and Josh was home every evening after work for 15 years.
Mandi said: “For 15 years, he was there, he would come home every day and be a part of the house a lot more.
“That stability meant everything, but I’m not upset with where we are now – its just different.
“He will be back.”
After suffering multiple injuries due to the physical nature of his work, Josh was eventually placed on light duty.
When the office-based opportunity arose last year – offering career progression, better pay, and no manual labour – the couple saw it as a long-term investment.
Mandi said: “We made the decision together.
“It was a great opportunity – no more physical labour and room to advance in his career.
“We knew for the first couple of years it would hurt and we would be apart a lot but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.”
They try not to go longer than two weeks without seeing each other – often meeting halfway for what they call “date weekends.”
Mandi said: “We’ll meet at a hotel, go to brunch, shop, just do whatever we want to do.
“The funny thing is we never would have done that the way we do now back home.
“When we are together, our focus is on one another, you have to really treasure that time, if intention is there it makes everything easier.
“When we are together, we get four or five days of being together the whole time and making the absolute best of it.
“If you don’t put intention into being connected, you have to ask yourself – do you just want to be married, or do you want to be thriving in your marriage?”
Through Mandi’s sales job, she earns incentive trips, and in the past two years the couple has travelled to Europe twice, as well as Mexico and Puerto Rico.
She travels to see Josh and leaves the household in the hands of their older children.
“I always make sure there’s at least one adult there, whether that is my kids or someone I know. People can be judgemental, but this works for all of us,” she said.
“My kids still get their home, my husband gets his job, and I can see him and have fun.”
She says many women with partners who travel for work have reached out to her – sharing how hard it can feel to manage everything alone.
“My advice to a woman who feels resentment is to try and feel grateful,” Mandi said.
“After all, he is sacrificing so our kids can have this extraordinary life. That is one of the most selfless things a man can do.
“If you get mad at him for doing this, you are essentially shutting him out. It is hard to have to be away from your entire family the whole time.”
Mandi says the life they’ve created together is something she never takes for granted.
She said: “My childhood wasn’t the best. Our kids’ life looks so different, and that’s because of the sacrifices we’ve both made.
“That is what family is all about, its compromise and support.
“Life is hard and messy for everyone. We all just have a different story.”